Mona Lisa Chinda: "I'm Free at last: my ordeal in my violent marriage!'
Jan 20th 2010

A lot has been said about the crashed marriage of Monalisa Chinda and the actress has kept mum about it untill now. Here in an interview with Stella Dimoko-Korkus she finally opens up to air her side of the story. culled from stellasgroove
Trying to get
her to talk was not an easy job,she didnt want
to run anyone down she said.
finally,after explaining to her that she owes
her fans her side of the story about what really
went down she finally opened up on her marital
status''the divorce has been granted on December
17,2009. The
judge granted me custody of my daughter and segun was given a certain percentage to contribute to the welfare of the child.i was told i would be briefed on when to go and get the rest of my things from the house''.
In an emotion laden voice,monalisa tells STELLA DIMOKO-KORKUS the hell she went through as segun dejo-richards wife.as she recounted the horrific details,the actress stopped a few times to control her shaky voice and cry tears which she confirms are tears of joy for coming out of her dissolved union alive. this interviewer even shed a few tears hearing monlaisa cry....enjoy the interview and dont hold back the tears.
--let me
go straight to the point.Tell us why your
marriage crashed and what you didnt do right
......hmmm,firstly i didnt plan for
what happened to me,secondly,marriage is a
beautiful thing and i have always loved the
marriage institution.right from when i was 18yrs
old,i had always wanted to get
married,unfortunately i ended up with someone i
thought was the right person.i tried all my best
to make sure that i stayed put in my marriage
even when all the odds were against me.i wanted
to stay put in my marriage,carry my shoulders
high and act like everything was normal but
things went from bad to worse.it was all
constant misunderstanding and quarelling which
is normal in every marriage but not being able
to sort it out as two mature people, it was just
the kind of issues most marriages have but ours
just got out of hand and thats why i am where i
am today.
--we
hear he used to beat the living daylights out of
you and people would see you with scars and
wounds all over your body but you would say it
was something else that happened to you.can you
confirm this please?
....i really dont want to get into the voilent
part of what happened,yes there was voilence
inthe marriage but i dont want to go into
details,the vivid details is too painful to talk
about.
--but he
used to beat you?
....stella,like i said just now,yes there was
voilence.
--you
ran out of your marriage.at what point did you
decide you couldnt take it anymore?
....let me tell you the truth,there was signs of
violence when we were courting .you know when
you fall in love with someone you just met and
feel he is the one you want to be
with,regardless of both our shortcomings,women
we have this tendency of not facing the truth
and the harsh reality that this thing can remain
and become a problem if you remain with this
person.i am a woman who sticks to something once
i make up my mind to do it no matter what,which
is not very good because you have to place
yourself in a place of reason so that when your
mother or older ones tell you ,something is not
good for you,you listen but i didnt listen.i saw
a bright future with him.i didnt want to be
concerned with his short comings,especially when
he gets angry and wants to get voilent,i just
thought that the maturity that marriage brings
would change him but he didnt change.at a point
i wanted to leave 2yrs after we got married but
i thought about my family,i thought about my
friends,especially as i was warned to look
before leaping,i thought about that and then i
thought about myself.i kept thinking how people
would look at me if i left the marriage,people
were already saying actresses could not keep
their marraiges.i considered a lot of things and
so i stayed and prayed he would change but it
got worse instead,so i began to pray, i wanted
God to bless me with a child that would give me
joyand maybe bring back some sanity into the
marriage.i wanted a child to give me hope and
make me stop thinking about the things i could
no longer bear.when my baby arrived,i felt
things would change for the better,i thought the
cry of a baby in our home would make things
better,i thought we would become more mature and
concentrate on the baby but this didnt happen,he
didnt change and i knew deep within me that if
things didnt change i would leave him.six months
ago after we had a very very serious
altercation,i decided to leave.
---we
hear he was giving your money to other
girls.that you both shared a joint account and
his girlfriends were enjoying your hardwork and
that was part of the problem.
....point of correction,we never shared a joint
account,i need to make that clear.the bible says
we should be submissive to our husband and that
was what i did.his money was my money and mine
was his.if he was giving it to his women i didnt
think that was the problem,i didnt think that
was an issue,if there was basic understanding
between us,i wouldnt even know that these were
the things he was doing,yes he was paying for
girls i heard but if there was love,he wouldnt
even do these things,love covers a multitude of
sins my sister.i would have forgiven him and
just let it go.
---what
about the accusation that your friends and
family were responsible for your behaviour and
they were the reason the marraige had
problems.like he mentioned emem isong taking you
around night clubs,he mentioned rita dominic,he
mentioned genevieve nnaji et al.
.....First of all stella,i would like to make a
public apology to my colleagues that he
mentioned and rubbished in the papers,if it
wasnt for me,their names wouldnt have been
mentioned.there was no need going into the
details he did that my friends were the ones
responsible,at what point?if i was doing all the
things he said,i am sure people would have seen
me and written these things he said.i maintained
my stand in my marriage,i never used to attend
social gatherings because i was not really
happy,i mean what was i going out for?i am
thinking that now but then i wasnt thinking that
way.when people invited me to events,i always
gave one excuse or the other.my family were in
support of me regardless of the fact that they
didnt like what was happening in the union.i
mean which family would sit back and enjoy
hearing their child is going through what i went
through?
---was there a time he was in your
family house and they swept him out with a
broom?
...what?did he say that?this is the first time i am hearing of it.that is not true.
---is it
true that your uncle mr kool the musician did
not want your marriage to segun to work out
because his own marriage had hit the rocks?
---has my uncles marriage hit the rocks?between
you and i,you know mr kools marriage is not
going anywhere.it is intact.it has not even hit
a stone talkless of the rocks.even if they didnt
like him because of what he was doing to their
daughter,why didnt he go out of his way to make
them change their view and not think the way
they did of him?if this people were not happy
with him,they are my relations,he should have
tried to change.when he was accused of anything
he would go and face them and say so what,i mean
thats not good,especially not with the voilence
being metted out. .
---okay
you are now officially single again,how does
that make you feel?are you sad?are you
happy?what emotion do you feel?
....mixed feelings.i am happy that i came out of
that marriage with my whole body intact.i didnt
loose an eye,a leg or a hand and my baby is
intact as well and nothing happened to her
physically or mentally.there are challenges as a
single woman,you and i know that.i am satisfied
with where i am right now.i am happy with where
God has brought me and i am happy i had the
strenght to walk away from what was happening to
me before it was too late to do so.
---so there is no iota of truth in the
talk that your problems began as a result of the
money globacom paid you?
...that talk is so shallow.how long have i been
in this career and how much i have been
making?why will the globacom money that is
supposed to bless us be the reason that i
left?there is nothing as beautiful as marriage,i
know what marriage is,my parents were together
before my dad died i had always wanted to marry
because of the beautiful example my parents
marriage was.no amount of money can come between
a husband and wife if there is understanding
between them,i was with this man through thick
and thin,do you know what i went through with
him?no,no,no,no please, he should just go.
---its been a while between when your ex
husband granted those interviews where he took
you to the cleaners,why didnt you respond
then,why now?
....why now?because it has all died down now and i personally do not like the way people have been talking about me and the marriage i was in,i have heard things that are not true,things that are unbeliveable and unprintable.i think i owe it to the public and my fans who heard the other side to hear my side and know what i went through.if i had died in this marriage,the story would have been different,i would never have had a chance to talk,so why not talk now that i made it out alive from that marriage.i loved my husband to death,love is for two people not for one person,you have to love each other,not one person loving and giving everything and not getting enough back.
---your
ex husband gave us the impression that you were
someone who let family and friends make decisons
for you,so tell us now,what kind of person are
you?
....i am not a confrontational person,i am not
the type that would want to quarell in public
over issues that we can talk about in the
bedroom.i dont listen to people once i make up
my mind about something.on my own jeje,i just
decided that rather for the love to kill me let
me kill the love;i decided to save my life and
that of my child.i took off and left
everything,i just left with my child and we only
had on the clothes we wore on that day.i dont
like trouble,i love peace,i shy away from
problems because i dont like them,when i see
that the problem has subsided i can stick out my
neck again,thats how i am.i am a straight
forward person,i tell it as it is but i dont do
it in the heat of the monent,i do it when there
is silence.
---you didnt add very forgiving to how you described yourself.didnt segun beg you to come back home?why didnt you forgive him and give him another chance?
....stella i have forgiven him,i have but i cannot go back.it is unfortunate but i cant go back,never.
....why do you think segun was beating you so much?was there something you were doing that made him loose his grip on sanity and beat you?
----there are issues he could not deal with and i guess he got his release from beating.at first it used to shock me but later i used to run for cover and i used my child as a shield to stop him but he would beat me and the child mercilessly as well.i never used to talk back at him or provoke him because i knew that would amount to my being beaten and i used to avoid that.segun got his kicks from beating me and the baby,maybe it was a normal thing to do for him.anyway like i said,it got worse and i ran!
--now that you are out from this marriage without loosing any body part,how would you want to help people who are going through the same thing you went through but cannot break free because they are not financially or emotionally strong?
...marriage is a very sensitive thing,it is only you,on your own you will just get up and askGod what is this?what happened to me?i used to look at myself in the mirror and say God i am better than this,take me out of this misery,i used to talk to the mirror.stella,i wasnt myself anymore,i was begining to beleive in the lies the marraige told me,i was telling myself that maybe i wasnt normal,maybe i was useless,maybe i was mad..so many maybes.i didnt listen to my mum,my brothers and sisters or my uncle.they allowed me to go in and be happy and make it right but it didnt turn out right.so on my own nobody told me,i just carry my pikin and i run!i cant tell the next person what to do because no marriage is the same,if you are being beaten,molested or whatever just talk to God and apply wisdom.i really want to do something later,maybe a talk show or an NGO,i want to go out there and fight for women who are being molested in thier marraiges but right now i want to get my act together first.
---your
ex hubby denied ever laying a land on you,he
swore you could not come out to say he beat you.
....its not sometihng one would want to admit in
public that he was beating up his wife.my ex
husband knows how to twist every story to his
advantage.
--okay,lets
move on,apart from your crashed marraige,2009
was a good year for your career right?
....yes.
---what are your plans for the future?
..i want to be able to concentrate on my career and my brand as a glo ambassador.we have a school we just opened,royal arts academy,its a trainig centre for students who want to acquire skills,just general entertainment,i want to concentrate on that and other projects that will come up.
---if you had a wish what would you wish for?
..i would wish for the best things in life because they are free.i would wish for Gods constant protection and love.
---what message do you have for your fans out there,the ones who would be reading this interview?
....they should take me for who i am ,all what i have said in this interview is the truth.i am not trying to run down anybody,just trying to set the records straight.they should pray for me.
---thank you for this interview monalisa, heres wishing you all the best things in life
...you are welcome and thank you.
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